Ghanchakkar – Bollywood’s version of lock, stock and two smoking barrels

image

Per internet : The most common meaning of ghanchakkar is a person with a very fickle mind. To put it simply, a crazy, mad person.

Ghanchakkar – Bollywood’s version of lock, stock and two smoking barrels sans the classic gambling plot.

Raj Kumar Gupta who directed the classy “Aamir” and the controversial “No one killed Jessica” runs slightly short of pace in his latest flick. He does come up with quite a lot of genuine humour. However humour may not be his cup of tea for an entire feature film.  For example, the scenes where the Emraan Hashmi and his accomplice trio loot the bank are hilarious. A simple face mask can evoke so much laughter without the actors having to do anything. However as the movie progresses, Vidya Balan’s presence becomes more important for the director. He keeps looping her in for every 5 minutes. And all she is doing is either cooking or eating. There was a 5th character missing very badly.

Performances wise Vidya Balan’s character irritates you as her dressing sense in the movie. Emraan Hashmi plays the cool customer. Few instances where he feels proud of his memory loss to convince his accomplices that he has indeed lost his memory are well acted out. Rajesh Sharma as ‘Pandit’ and Namit Das as ‘Igris’ are your nitrous oxide (laughing gas) and enact the confusing circumstances also really well.

One has to wait the entire movie for the twist to reveal and it ends in a very classy fashion. Climax adapted from movies like ‘Snatch’ & ‘Lock, stock and two smoking barrels’.

If you can tolerate Vidya Balan and have lot of time over the weekend, you can give this movie a shot.

–Varun Mannava Gowtham

Posted in Movie Review | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Varun’s New Bike!

Thats my new bike !

Varun's New BikeOk. So I have reached Gurgaon and my studio room is 7 kms away from my workplace. The autos in Gurgaon have no meters only. Leave alone turning the meters on. Fixed rates here. 3 kms : 50/- and anything between 3 – 10 kms : 100/-.  multiples of 50 you see.

So what do you do when you have to spend so much for commute and have a double chin to lose. Mental stress has proven to be a factor for weight loss but I preferred the physical stress route.

I browsed the web for a simple, light weighted and effortless riding bike and bang – ‘BSA Mach’ was the answer for it. No gears, no extra frills and yet smooth and pacey ride. I rode back all the way from the cycle showroom in Galleria mall in sector 48 to my home near Iffco chowk metro station last evening (9 KMs) and didn’t feel any muscular strain in my triceps/ thighs. Should thank the beautiful weather too. All this for 4,450/- only.

I am IN for safe riding, pollution free commuting and physcially fit commuting to work. Are you ? Cycle to work everyone! you’ll LOVE it!

–Varun Mannava Gowtham

Posted in Hobbies | Leave a comment

Sandwich Review : Major Ingredients : ‘Bombay Talkies’ & ‘Go Goa Gone’

Alright! What do you do when so many movies are releasing every weekend? Go watch them? Of course, that’s what movie retards like me do! However, for general public, the smart public, the educated public the thumb rule is read the review and then book tickets. So how do you make people watch two movies. Busy life means limited time to read the reviews. Without reading reviews they wont book tickets! There was an Englishman (long long ago) who was too busy to eat bread, cheese, ketchup and vegetables separately. What did he do? He thought why not I put vegetables in between the bread loafs and try eating? Bam! Sandwich was born! Generations later there was a half-Tamil half-Telugu guy who watched 2 hindi movies back to back and came up with the fastest way to write a review for both the movies. Boom! Sandwich review was born!

Four short films in the Bombay Talkies are like the four loafs of bread. They are Neat. Heritage. Smelling Fresh. Tender.

Go Goa Gone provides the stuffing for the sandwich. Cheesy. Hot. Saucy. Junky yet tasty.

Bombay Talkies, a movie dedicated to the centenary of Indian cinema, has been chosen for a gala screening at Cannes International Film Festival. Courtesy Viacom 18

The loafs ought to be neat, after all 4 iconic directors have come up with their best work till date. Dibakar Banerjee is the epitome of neatness and class. For one dialogue “Ey” the number of expressions that he comes up with is simply amazing. Add to this a touching tale between a father and his daughter who wants new bed time stories! Dibakar Banerjee’s passion for expressions and dialogues are vivid through his short film.

The stuffing ought to be cheesy. Its spooky to see Raj and Krishna who directed a timeless classic like “Shor in the City” would team up to do this no logic and high carb content Zombie rip-off movie! And yet the cheese is prevalent. These days the more witty the dialogues are, the more entertaining it gets. There are plenty of one liners and counter one liners that can bring the roof down.

The loafs smell fresh! Karan Johar’s story is as fresh as this generation can consume. His work takes his boldness a level higher. He depicts a love tangle between a married couple and a gay. God knows what he was smoking but he pulls it out clean! In the end you are touched by the plot.

The stuffing is served hot! It is based in Goa and what better place on earth can be hotter than this. There’s LUNA (the heroine) who looks stunning like the female version of Harley Davidson. Add to that we have ample Russians and a rave party in the theme! They give a new meaning to the word Hardik!

The loafs symbolize heritage. Bollywood is the flour in a loaf! Anurag Kashyap’s tribute to demi-god status of Superstars in this nation is captivating. Amitabh Bachchan symbolizes the heritage that Bollywood has preserved for over 100 years. Hero worshiping has always been and will always be an integral part of Indian cinema.

Who does not want the stuffing to be junky and saucy ? Zombies provide ample sauce in the movie here. They eat human intestine. Even the gore looks funny here. Its too saucy but still the crowds like it. There is a lot of junk the lead characters are addicted to. They live in an alternate world with alternate breathing of smoke instead of oxygen and alternate drinking of booze instead of water. So much junk and yet the crowds like it. May be because in the end there is a message that Drugs make you a Zombie for real!

The loafs need to be tender for smooth digestion. Zoya’s tender childhood dream story walks a thin line between differentiating her short film from other recent kids movies like ‘Taare Zameen Par’. It teaches the tender hearts to protect their dreams!

Now mix the Loafs (Bombay Talkies) and Stuffing (Go Goa Gone) for a tasty consumption. Bollywood served hot and tasty on your desktops through this ‘Sandwich Review’

Saif Ali Khan's Go Goa Gone draws anti-smoking flak

— Varun Mannava Gowtham

Posted in Movie Review | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

the hollywood life!

I wanna live
the hollywood life!

Residing in Walt Disney‘s castle
Built on the Universal’s earth!

Raising MGM‘s LION for a Pet
Will Go fishing on the Dreamworkz moon!

And when I reach Paramount‘s peak
Of my life I can still take a New Line!

I wanna live
The hollywood life

I will have the Warner Bros shield
To protect me at the Lionsgate!

I gotta think like a 21st century fox
To pursue the mysterious Columbia torch bearer!

Whenever I fall I have a DC heavyweight
Asking me “why do we fall”!

And if humanity is invaded by outer space
I could use some help from Marvel‘s icons!

I wanna live
The hollywood life!

Varun Mannava Gowtham

Posted in Hobbies | Leave a comment

Gunde Jaari Gallathayindhe – novel yet entertaining fare!

It’s the time when entire Tollywood does not want to take risks. Only debutant directors are licensed to take risks. Among those who are financing these risks are rare producers who still trust in the magic that telugu movies can create. They say high risks result in high returns in the Financial world. The same logic holds good for Tollywood. GJG is a run-away hit. So much that I had to go back home without tickets for a 11 pm show at In-orbit mall. And on the next night that I got tickets, it was the first row from the screen.

What makes this movie click ?

1. Chemistry between Nithin and Nithya Menon.

2. Clarity in the script written by Harshvardhan.

3. Pawan Kalyan fever and worshipping!

4. Peppy songs.

5. Creative and genuine Comedy.

The plot is slightly complex, which stands as a plus point for the movie and makes it stand out from run of the mill movies. Other than script being King of this movie, we have Nithya Menon whose screen presence, performance, and even the dance moves captures the audiences’ imagination. She sails the movie through smoothly from start to finish. One never gets bored of her expressions and screen presence. It is very rare that a person with a personality like Nithya can demand such attention in an industry that is dominated by Glamour dolls like Tamanna and Illeana.

Nithin does his usual performance. His dialogue delivery is unique, though not the best in industry, but it has worked wonders for him till date in Tollywood. He is usually wooden faced when it comes to expressions, but the energy he exudes on screen is definitely worth applauding.

The entire cast and crew seem to be fans of Power Star Pawan Kalyan fans. Watch out for the creative re-make of the popular Pawan Kalyan song from the movie Tholiprema. Something that the public in the front benches would rejoice about. Nobody’s complaining though!

The songs are Anup Rubens are good and quite catchy too. The item song by Jwala gutta could have been avoided. She looks so reluctant onscreen. You see, the janta here love item songs that are generous. And she can’t shake a leg well too.

If you are looking for 150 minutes of light-hearted love story and yet a cat-mouse chase scenario go watch this movie on the big screen. Thumbs up for this flick for being different from other regular formula movies.

–Varun Mannava Gowtham.

Gunde Jari Gallanthayyinde Movie Poster Designs (4)

Posted in Movie Review | Leave a comment

“Ek Thi Daayan” (There was a Witch) and boy she does scare you!

Hum cheez hain badey kaam ki.. Yaaram!

The movie starts with a funny disclaimer in Hindi saying ‘this movie does not promote witch craft nor does it promote the comparison / portrayal of women as Daayan (Witch)’.  The packed theater bursts off into laughter. Then the same disclaimer comes again in English. Crowd bursts into laughter again. That’s the laughter before this intensely thrilling and scary movie begins. This laughter slowly fades off for the next 120 minutes. Ek Thi Daayan does best what Horror movies are supposed to do. It scares the shit out of you!

Humey kam pe rakh lo Kabhi.. Yaaram!

The plot revolves around Bobo the baffler (Emraan Hashmi) and his childhood in the first half of the movie. It narrates how Bobo, who is a magician by profession, goes through hallucinations that his step-mom Diana (Konkana sen) is a witch. He keeps referring to his book on magic and witch-craft to prove his points but no one really understands, including his Father or his Psychiatrist. 20 years later it starts coming back all again during his magic shows. His girlfriend Tamara (Huma Qureshi) also comes to know about this. Will Bobo be able to prove his point to his loved ones or will he succumb to his hallucinations is what the second half is all about

Suraj se pehle jagayenge .. Aur akhbaar ke saari surkhiyaan hum gungunayenge..!

The writers Vishal Bhardwaj and Mukul Sharma have done their homework well. You see in movies like these, script is the first star. Rest all stars are secondary. The logic is intact and it never goes out of control. The director Kannan Iyer makes sure the ship sails through thin ice successfully. Although the ending could have been more energetic and powerful, no one is complaining. Having seen a new horror-genre in ages, the bollywood audience is more than happy to acknowledge the efforts.

pesh karenge garam chai pe… koi khabar aayi  na pasand toh end badal denge.. !

Konkana Sen Sharma sizzles as the dark witch, potentially capturing the audiences under her spell of natural portrayal for such a difficult character. Special effects do come to her rescue at times. Huma Qureshi is the hefty glamor doll and pulls off a neat performance. She is quite over weight on screen. Kalki Koechlin does what she does best. Fitting into a role as if tailor made for her.

This is the first time I was eagerly waiting for a movie where Emraan Hashmi is the lead character. Trust me, anybody could have portrayed this role but the fact that Emraan bagged it means that its going to do him good. Or maybe like he says in the movie he is good because “he does not make noise while sleeping, he does not fart and he is a tiger in bed”. Nothing much to complain about his performance. He has done a clean role.

Vishal Bhardwaj’s music has always been catchy. However his song Yaaram combined with Gulzar’s simple yet magical lyrics, I must say, is definitely addictive. The song is also shot spectacularly in the movie.

Go watch a new genre in the theaters and then go home and sleep. Don’t try this at home!

— Varun Mannava Gowtham

Posted in Movie Review | 2 Comments

Opinion : The Sreenu Vaitla Template

It’s a boon and a bane to be a successful director in Tollywood. Its like opening a school. Every big star in Tollywood wants to join this school, be part of the shooting, give the audience test and come out with 90% marks. Each time the same questions are asked in the exam, and each time the answers written are the same. Just that the Lead actors are different. The character artists and comedians are the same. Its a pity that the audiences want such movies only.

Type 1 : The Sreenu Vaitla Template

a. Much of the first half of the movie is dominated by “Boy falling in love” scenes. There cant be a love failure or a sad ending to a love story at all! Right from Venky till Ready.. from Ravi Teja to Mahesh Babu, everyone follows the same rule.

b. One of the protagonists’ parents is alive. But either the protagonist himself does not know this or the parent does not know if he / she is alive. Or maybe the parents think that their son is not alive. Ha!

c. The protagonist HAS to wear the police uniform at least once and only once in the entire movie. Happened in Venky, Dhee, Dookudu, Badshah (only exception being King  and I haven’t watched Namo Venkatesa)

d. At a specific time, there needs to be an item song. (immediately after the interval?). Ok this can be discounted because the entire movie industry is so specific about item songs.

e. At a specific time there needs to be a wedding scene and confusion in that wedding. e.g. boy does not know if he will end up marrying the bride or not. e.g. Ready, Dhee, Badhsah

f. There needs to be one duet in Switzerland, with firangs wearing desi costumes and doing desi moves. e.g. Dookudu & Badshah.

g. Of late, Thaman has also found a template of songs that would fit in these movies.

You would have watched Dookudu and Pokiri. Close your eyes and imagine Jr. NTR in the place of Mahesh Babu and voila, you have the Badshah movie. Do you still need a review for Badshah? I wonder if Sreenu Vaitla can ever make a murder mystery movie or a horror movie ?

–Varun Mannava Gowtham

Baadshah Exclusive Ultra HD Posters 2

Posted in Movie Review | Leave a comment

Django Unchained – Freedom served as main course

Django-Unchained-Poster

It is quite unfortunate that the most eagerly awaited movie of 2012 released only in 2013 in India! That too when one types Django in YOUTUBE you get suggestions of ‘Django full movie’. But still one needs to watch this movie in the theaters to taste the dish called Freedom! I waited till tonight to get surprised and thrilled by Django on the big screen!

Have you experienced Freedom? Have you persuaded Freedom at all cost? Well at least my generation is lucky enough to have been born with the right to Freedom. However we still continue to have modern forms of slavery. Financial slavery could be one of them. Discrimination based on caste/ religion/ power is one of them. Material slavery is another one. Flesh trade still exists.

Every time you watch a Tarantino movie, you walk out of the theater and think how can I change the world, within my own premise. Well that’s a feeling guaranteed only by Tarantino! He writes unforgettable characters, he makes them larger than life, he emphasizes on sound-tracks that blend with the situation of the movie (I am listening to them while I am writing this review), he experiments and highlights violence, he shows pain in its raw-est form. All this in a new form. Watch the scene where Mr. Candie cuts open an african-human skull and explains the regions of submissiveness. That’s Research ! Or the scene where dogs tear apart a slave. That’s dare! Or the scene where two blacks fight till death. That’s pushing the bar! That camera closing up to the faces when situations get intense. That’s Trademark Tarantino! His movies give you a High, no matter how many times you watch them over and over!

Christoph waltz’s character of the egoistic bounty hunter stands out and is totally worthy of an academy award. The “shake-hand” conversation is totally new and filled with twists! Credit also goes to Leonardo Di Caprio to have made that scene so memorable.

Jamie Foxx fits the role and personality of Django. There are suttle scenes where he has made the effort to be noticed. Like the scene where he tastes beer for the first time. Like the scene where he listens to the German princess legend for the first time from the doctor.

Leonardo Di Caprio shines in the negative character as Mr. Candie. But its Samuel Jackson who gets to bite your bottom as the bad ass sadist african yet white man kind of mentality. You will enjoy the scene where Django shoots him down!

Here’s to the repeat watching of the movie and all those whistles when bodies drop dead! Are you seriously expecting a rating for a TARANTINO’s movie?

–Varun Mannava Gowtham

Posted in Movie Review | Tagged , | 6 Comments

My Original Interview with the Fake Spielberg!

So I know, given my progression in the movie critic universe, getting an interview from the great and mind-blowing Speilberg is close to impossible. Unless I get married to a hollywood actress who is acutely short of finances. I have great regards and respect for him.

However, its so itching not to have interviewed him when the whole of Indian Media is getting to do it. So I decided to interview Mr. Fake spielberg who got caught inside my imagination. Hope you guys enjoy this. This is purely for fun!

1. Hi Mr. Fake Spielberg, how are you doing today ? Are you loving India ?

FS : Oh yes! India is amazing. Thank God I stay only in 7 star hotels and avoid public transport to commute. Where’s my hand sanitizer ?

2. Mr. Fake Spielberg, have you heard of the Varun’s Word?

FS: Ofcourse, its the latest trend in the US now. Actually I was considering making a movie on the birth, existence and rise of Varun’s Word.

3. That was very kind of you Mr. Fake Spielberg. Nice try. But you still have to answer my tough questions. Here’s the first one. When will you stop making movies ?

FS: Ask Sachin to retire, I will retire.  Ask Rajni..(Fake Spielberg observes that I am tightening my fist when I hear Rajni and he does not complete the sentence). Ask Clint Eastwood to retire, I will retire.

4. Nice work with the Adventures of Tintin but it was so predictable. Why did you film it?

FS: So what if its predictable. “I” directed it and we had used a new animation technology. Why should I care for predictability. Thats your worry.

5. Of-late you got stuck to the same genres. Take E.T. genre.  And Aliens & cowboys that was exactly like the Indiana Jones movie you directed that involved an Alien in the end.

FS: Boy, how long is that question. The Answer is NO. They are all different movies.

6. So what do you say about the snub at the Academy awards. Ang Lee won the oscar for best director. Do you see the EAST is rising even in the leisure industry now?

FS: No comments please.

7. Ok, ask yourself a question. I ran out of questions now.

FS: How do I fund my next project? Gotta meet some cash-rich Indian politician. Would you recommend any?

8. I am not too sure of that. You should ask one of the news channels that you visited earlier today, they know quite a lot of them. Here is your last question. Is there any genre that you have not made a movie on?

FS: Oh yes. I would love to direct some of those mindless multi-starrer hindi comedy movies. You see that would be my bottom and I wanna hit that at least once in my life.

It was pleasure talking to you sir.

–Varun Mannava Gowtham

Posted in Celebrity Interviews | 1 Comment

Zero Dark Thirty

On May 1, 2011 social media reported the death of Osama Bin Laden. What followed was a week full of breaking news coverage on Regional, National and International news channels. People were glued to the updates on Facebook and the stories of how CIA operatives cracked the location of 9/11 mastermind. It was a remarkable story.

Now it’s not every year that you get to hear someone like Osama being hunted down. In this generation there was only one Osama and God willing there won’t be any Osama in the coming years. That’s why this movie becomes so important to watch. We may all remember the news articles but the cinematic thrill was missing in it. “Zero Dark Thirty” is that cinematic response to the modern era’s greatest revenge story.

“How do account for the risk of not doing something. Like, letting a person like Osama slip through your fingers?” This is the best dialogue by far. There are other remarkable scenarios where the protagonist puts a fight with her boss for not letting her pursue Bin Laden.

“Maya” is this CIA agent who plays a key role in hunting down OBL (fictional as the real CIA gave clean chit saying it was not a single agent who traced down OBL). She plays a role of this possessed / adamant kid who won’t sleep or play till she has seen the end of the rainbow. And she does find Osama at the end of this rainbow and its not a unicorn story that she had built up. And she’s got a lot of Performance appraisal techniques and pressure techniques to apply on your manager.

Katherine Bigelow comes back with a flair after “Hurt Locker”. She is Hollywood’s in-house expert in dealing with ‘Terrorism’ movies as her ex husband was the Hollywood’s expert in ‘Computer graphics’ movies. Now that’s called good influence and carving a niche for yourself.

Its released late in India, but its better late than never. Too late and the Oscars would get over and there would be no buyers in the Indian circuit for the movie.

–Varun Gowtham Mannava.

zero-dark-thirty

Posted in Movie Review | 2 Comments