So I know, given my progression in the movie critic universe, getting an interview from the great and mind-blowing Speilberg is close to impossible. Unless I get married to a hollywood actress who is acutely short of finances. I have great regards and respect for him.
However, its so itching not to have interviewed him when the whole of Indian Media is getting to do it. So I decided to interview Mr. Fake spielberg who got caught inside my imagination. Hope you guys enjoy this. This is purely for fun!
1. Hi Mr. Fake Spielberg, how are you doing today ? Are you loving India ?
FS : Oh yes! India is amazing. Thank God I stay only in 7 star hotels and avoid public transport to commute. Where’s my hand sanitizer ?
2. Mr. Fake Spielberg, have you heard of the Varun’s Word?
FS: Ofcourse, its the latest trend in the US now. Actually I was considering making a movie on the birth, existence and rise of Varun’s Word.
3. That was very kind of you Mr. Fake Spielberg. Nice try. But you still have to answer my tough questions. Here’s the first one. When will you stop making movies ?
FS: Ask Sachin to retire, I will retire. Ask Rajni..(Fake Spielberg observes that I am tightening my fist when I hear Rajni and he does not complete the sentence). Ask Clint Eastwood to retire, I will retire.
4. Nice work with the Adventures of Tintin but it was so predictable. Why did you film it?
FS: So what if its predictable. “I” directed it and we had used a new animation technology. Why should I care for predictability. Thats your worry.
5. Of-late you got stuck to the same genres. Take E.T. genre. And Aliens & cowboys that was exactly like the Indiana Jones movie you directed that involved an Alien in the end.
FS: Boy, how long is that question. The Answer is NO. They are all different movies.
6. So what do you say about the snub at the Academy awards. Ang Lee won the oscar for best director. Do you see the EAST is rising even in the leisure industry now?
FS: No comments please.
7. Ok, ask yourself a question. I ran out of questions now.
FS: How do I fund my next project? Gotta meet some cash-rich Indian politician. Would you recommend any?
8. I am not too sure of that. You should ask one of the news channels that you visited earlier today, they know quite a lot of them. Here is your last question. Is there any genre that you have not made a movie on?
FS: Oh yes. I would love to direct some of those mindless multi-starrer hindi comedy movies. You see that would be my bottom and I wanna hit that at least once in my life.
It was pleasure talking to you sir.
–Varun Mannava Gowtham