New Gift – Chapter 7 : Ayyappa Mala (Mandala)

Posted on May 24, 2026 by workaholicvarun

It was around November 2024. Winter had already started. My mother started staying with us since one year. My Father had passed away in November 2023, so I requested her to move in with us. My wife and I were living in a One bedroom house. We decided we wanted to move to a bigger house given that my mother was staying with us. So we moved into a two bedroom house in April 2024.

My mother spent most of her life raising me and my elder brother. She was a B.Com graduate from a small town near Visakhapatnam. She met my father in a tuition setup where my father was teaching her mathematics at her home. She liked him. She also liked the fact that he was an engineer. Back in 70s and 80s if you were an engineer that meant stability to the family. Despite opposition from her parents she pursued my father and got married.

My elder brother was born in 1983 and I was born in 1984 within a gap of 16 months. One can imagine the stress my mother had to go through right from 1983 till 2006 when we both became steady in our respective jobs.

Between 2006 to 2023, she had a good life with my father. Although there were multiple hiccups and roller coasters in the past, and even during this period, she had led a comfortable and dignified life to a great extent. I ensured that even during COVID when my father and elder brother could not step out and work, I supported them and she was still comfortable.

My mother played a crucial role in my success since my childhood. As a child, I learnt that I was not as chubby or cute to cuddle like my elder brother. So most of my relatives used to cuddle my brother as a toddler and it was my mother who gave me the much needed love and attention.

I also learnt and realized that as a child I was ok if my father was away from the house but if my mother was not in the house I would start feeling sad and I would start crying. There was once an incident in Visakhapatnam railway station, my mother asked me to sit next to my elder cousin and that she will step out of the train and get something. I thought my mother left me with the cousin and went away and that she will never return again. I escaped the grip of my cousin’s palm and ran out to the platform. My cousin alerted some men on the platform and they caught hold of me and were dragging me back to my compartment. I was trying to tell these men that they let me go in search of my mother but they did not listen. Finally when they put me back on my seat, I see my mother already sitting there. She was ready to scold me while I thought it was me who had to scold her for leaving me in a train with a cousin. Anyway, this story was to establish my bond with my mother and her bond with me too.

Over several years, my mother would come to my rescue many times when needed, although I would never give much chances to my father or teachers or neighbors to complain about me. I was well behaved, hard working student getting good ranks in school too. So it was all good. And like I mentioned earlier, my mother was the major reason for me to get into college in the first place.

Coming back to November 2023, Neo’s mother was 3 months pregnant. We recently went to a gynecologist, got the scans done and found out that Neo was growing at a good pace and that all his vitals were normal etc.

I wonder why a daughter-in-law and a mother-in-law can never be truly friends. Some confusion at home led to both of them being angry with each other and I had to take a decision that day. Much to my disappointment and against my will I did take a decision to send my mother to my elder brother. I did not like this decision much because my brother was not married and was staying in a PG type setup. I requested him to move to a double occupancy room in the same PG and informed him that he would have to take care of mother going forward and that I was never planning to get my mother and my wife under one roof after that night. I have had enough and I think even they both have had enough in the last one year.

Whatever the reason for the discomfort or the disagreement between the both of them, I thought I would not let this impact my son in any way, even more when he is in the womb. Once he comes out, his discomfort will be visible so till that point I did not want any external stress.

Once my mother left the house, she settled down in Hyderabad with my elder brother. Although the both of us were recovering from this separation, I trusted my elder brother well. He was not earning a steady income and I was supporting him financially but when it comes to taking care of people, I trusted him.

Within 2 weeks of my mother leaving our house, Neo’s mother started feeling awkward and maybe even started to think that she was the reason why my mother was sent back to Hyderabad. I calmed her down and mentioned her not to stress too much. But her stress was increasing, thanks to the hormones too, I thought I had to do something to divert her from her mindset.

Something clicked instantly and the next day when I went to work, realized there was an Ayyappa temple near my office. Down south, we grew up with a lot of neighbors and friends wearing Ayyappa Mala during winters. In short, when one wears an Ayyappa Mala, one has to wear it for 41 days (One Mandala as it is called) and for those 41 days one cannot consume alcoholic beverages, smoke cigarettes, watch violent or vulgar/ abusive content, eat non-veg etc. I acted fast. Because the faster I act the better it would be for Neo who was just 3 months into the womb. So I stepped out, reached the temple and requested the priest to bless me for the next 41 months. He handed over the mala to me and gave me a walkdown of the guidelines and mentioned that I would have to visit Sabari Mala temple at the end of 41 days. I agreed.

I called back Neo’s mother and explained her the guidelines. This distracted her a bit as expected and it was a huge success. Not just for her but also for me. I realized that one cant watch any content these days that is not violent or vulgar. It was like a physical and thoughts detox for me for 41 days. I loved that period. During this time, I felt that I had a lot of time for myself. I revived all my Government IDs that needed to be revised, address updated etc. I also learned to drive the car and got my license during this period only. At the end of the 41 day cycle, I was ready to visit Sabari Mala temple. I would take one full chapter to write about the Sabari Mala visit.

During this 41 days, I realized that while we may not be able to control others and outcomes, we can still alter our outcomes if we control ourselves. The 41 day mandala taught me to control my body and mind and focus on what I have control on and leave out those aspects on which I had no control on, even if they are my own mother and my own wife. And Neo was the direct beneficiary.

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New Gift – Chapter 6 : Neo sleeps off on my shoulder for the first time!

Posted on May 24, 2026 by workaholicvarun

I figured this out on my own and it may be true or false but here it goes. I think Mother Nature made the female gender in a particular way so that they are more ready to raise newborns who are very tender to begin with. Imagine nurturing a one day old newborn, holding them in your hand, feeding them, bathing them, dressing them up, speaking to them, making them sleep, cleaning them up when they poop all of this requires tender hands. I think Mother Nature gave women a tender physique and especially tender and smaller hands because she believes women are best suited to take care of the offspring at the newborn stage.

Holding a new born in your hands for a few minutes, smiling, making funny faces is all fun. But doing all the other tasks for one full day and then continuing to do those tasks every day for the next 5 to 6 years at least till the offspring becomes self sufficient to brush, bathe, clean up and dress on their own is no less than a Himalayan task in itself. And given the length and width of my palms, I was never confident of handing a new born but it does change for the better in a few weeks.

For the first 3 months, like I mentioned, Neo was happy to sleep, feed, poop, feed, pee, feed and sleep again by his mother’s side. In fact, he was getting a hang of it quite fast. One day a situation presented itself in a way that Neo had to rely on his father to make him fall asleep. It was the first time for me also. Till this point, I held Neo only for a few times, I mean one could just count it. But what happens that day will change the course of Neo’s sleep schedule forever. And he gave us that sign.

Lets go back one decade. It was 2013, I was working in a steady job since almost 7 years and had paid off all the debts that we made earlier, I will explain the debts part later in another chapter, but for now understand that my father had to borrow money from his friends and family to weather off the years where he was broke. Plus, there was an EMI for the car that I bought in 2007 too. All paid off. By this time we had accumulated some furniture at home too. This time no one is coming to take it off. We did not buy the furniture and appliances in one go but over the 7 years. Bottomline is that I had ensured my parents were self sufficient wherever they were living. Maybe I was preparing them and myself for the future. I was moving away from them and I didn’t even know it back then.

7 years into my first job, I wanted a change. I had applied internally in my first company but could not move to a profile that I wanted. Similar profile from another company came searching for me. This was more like a head hunting. I took it. But the position was in Gurugram, Haryana. I had been living in Hyderabad, Telangana for 7 years working in my first company and 21 years in Chennai, Tamilnadu growing up.

When I moved to Gurugram for my new role in a new company I checked into a hotel for the first 2 weeks. I had to finalize a place to stay during this time. I approached a housing broker and he took me around in a Fortuner type SUV. He did charge me a one month brokerage later once the house was finalized, Ha. Point is that during this house hunting, most of the options that were shown to me were the ones that were fully furnished. I never came across something like this till that point. I thought this was very convenient. I never wanted to buy furniture and appliances for myself anyway thanks to the furniture and appliances episodes in my childhood and teenage days. Also, because I already had my parents house where we already bought whatever was required etc.

So this meant that for the next 10 years starting 2013, I preferred a fully furnished house rather than a semi-furnished or unfurnished house in Gurugram. This meant I didn’t have to worry about buying anything, it was mostly plug and play, ready to move in.

Even after my wedding in 2023, I wanted to continue a similar model, so we rented furniture on our own.

Given this background, lets get back to the situation that led to Neo trusting me to take care of his sleep.

It was Aug, 2024 where we were expecting the rented furniture and appliances to reach our apartment. Neo had a good morning ritual, fed well and was about to sleep. However, since the entire furniture was getting revamped, even his bed had to be replaced. Neo’s mother was busy instructing the helpers on which item should be placed where and gave me the responsibility to take care of Neo.

This was the first time since Neo’s birth that I held him for more than 5 minutes. I had no prior experience of making a child sleep. From my childhood, I was comfortable carrying anything on my shoulders, even my father’s debts ha!

So I held Neo with my both hands and placed him on my left shoulder. Back then I had a long beard. Neo’s mother was critical of this idea and had mentioned that Neo will not sleep in that posture because of my beard. While I was trying to convince her that Neo will sleep and that she need not worry, I started feeling Neo’s head getting heavier on my shoulder. Voila! he had slept off and like how.

There was so much work going on in the living room, at least 3 helpers were unpacking the furniture and appliances and were configuring / assembling them but no, Neo does not wake up.

After a point, Neo’s mother felt that there will be dust too and that I need to take Neo downstairs and sit in the car perhaps? I was like, sure why not. By this time it was already 20 minutes since Neo had fallen asleep on my shoulder.

I took the elevator and reached the car parking. I sat in the car, switched on the AC and waited there for 90 odd minutes for the unpacking and assembly to get over. I got a call that the work was done. Neo was still asleep. I took him back upstairs and put him on his new bed. Mission accomplished.

From that day onwards, everytime and anytime, my left shoulder was his favorite way to fall asleep. Sometimes when he takes longer to fall asleep, I would rock my feet up and down standing up (somewhat like a stationary jumping jacks) for a few weeks and that worked wonders. Once he outgrew those, I would rock him left to right standing upright with his head on my left shoulder. I also learnt how to hold him on my right shoulder sometimes when my left hand used to pain.

Neo’s mother was so relieved, she still wonders how I can make him sleep under any and every circumstance. I just smile and move on to the next task while the baby is fast asleep on his bed.

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New Gift – Chapter 5 : Driving License

Posted on May 18, 2026 by workaholicvarun

As a kid, I was always fascinated by how a motor vehicle works. Not the science or scientist aspect of it but the functional and convenience aspect of it. Whenever we used commute to school in a public transport (bus) in Chennai (and we commuted for many years in a bus cumulatively), my brother and I used to stand near the engine and driver area in the bus. Remember the Ashok Leyland and TATA diesel buses of the 1990s? We used to watch the drivers drive these heavy buses. How they change gears, what they do before changing gears, how they brake and accelerate.

One fine day, we see our father driving a brand new Maruti car to our house. Remember when I told you that my father was very talented. Whenever my father quit his job, we were broke for a few years but once he got his next job, it would be a higher posting and better pay. This time, my father got an office sponsored vehicle also along with his salary and promotion (as a Regional Sales Manager) in an MNC. This company dealt with industrial adhesives. This company also used to sponsor the global F1 Races in the 90’s and 2000’s, I realized this aspect much later in my life, ha. So the point is that my father had finally arrived (for a few years, that is).

My brother and I had no clue that our father was arriving in a car. We were in in our 6th grade back then. This was a brand new Maruti Suzuki (Maruti 800). It was white in color. I loved it. It was almost like in the movie Pushpa where he decides to surprise his mother driving a brand new car. We lost it. We were blown away. More so because the apartment that we were living in at that point of time was a lower middle class type apartment. But who cares, we were elated.

Our father loved long drives. He said we are going to Tirupati temple in the CAR!!

Wohoo. We had a lot of fun with that car. Our father would drop us to school in that car too sometimes when he was free in the morning. Or, he would pick us up post school some days too. The best part was when he would offer some of our best friends also a drop home. Life was great. But it had an expiry date. Ha! 3 years. Then everything goes off. No car, no furniture, no locality, no 2 bedroom house.

2 years and many hardships later, our father joins a CCTV sales dealership company. Back in the late 90s and early 2000s, India was still waking up to the CCTV culture. But there was considerable awareness and my father was a good salesman. Even in this job, he got a better post and higher pay and guess what, a company allocated vehicle too. Again a Maruti 800, latest model relevant to those times. We used to watch movies in the drive in theater while that car was present. But this time around, my fascination towards a four wheeler was less nuanced compared what I felt 6 years ago. Maybe I was growing older and wiser. A lesson again that material things won’t stay with us forever.

Fast forward to 2007. All this while I never make an attempt to buy a car. I did however buy a car on my own but that was upon my father’s request and it was only for my father to commute to his workplace/ college. I took care of the EMI since I bought it after I started working and also because this time no one would take the car away from him. He used that car for 15 years and we scrapped it in 2023 because of the government recommended policy to scrap petrol cars older than 15 years too. This car was with us till the end.

Now in 2024, when we were expecting Neo, having a four wheeler would be highly useful to take Neo’s mom around to hospitals because we can control the speed of the car and speed breaker impacts unlike an uber/ ola where we had to request the drivers repeatedly to go slow deliberately. Many times they would also agree to go slow but forget it too. So remind them again. This did not seem to be improving. So I finally decided against all my material loss memories and signed up for a car.

This car was delivered almost 6 months before Neo’s arrival. Now came the biggest problem. I did not have a four wheeler driving license. I never tried applying for it or even learning how to drive a car. My father did teach us how to drive a car from time to time and I did drive it but only on highways. I know the concept of changing gears, accelerating smoothly etc. but never wanted to get a car for myself or even drive it either. My brother was a master in driving by now. He got his license a few months after he turned 18. But I did not. The memories of car coming and going away in my childhood and teenage was impacting this decision. I lost the urge too.

But now that Neo was arriving and I had already bought a car, I decided to learn and get the license too. Thankfully, this car is a top end electric vehicle and its automatic transmission too. I appointed a driver and asked him to teach me driving. After 45 days of driving with L board, I gave the driving test a couple of times and cleared it too in the final chance (everyone gets 3 chances to clear it).

That’s how I got my Driving License for a four wheeler. Now I take Neo and his mom around on weekends and I commute to work everyday on it.

Looking back on my decision not to buy a car for myself or not to learn driving maybe justified for that phase of my life. But for this phase of my life, this also feels justified now.

During the time when I chose not to buy a car for myself, I did buy a Royal Enfield though. Two wheelers no problem at all. The heavier, even better too. Ha!

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New Gift – Chapter 4 : Day Zero

Posted on May 17, 2026 by workaholicvarun

It was the 4th week of May, 2025. Neo was already 10 months inside his Mother’s womb by then. The Doctors said we can expect him to come out any time after the 9th month completed. But our pal was a great swimmer. He was swimming his way inside the endometrial fluid for so many weeks now. He was getting too comfortable inside the womb. So comfortable that the doctors were concerned now as to why Neo had not yet crowned himself to get out.

Obviously, he was getting good care from his mother, also the warmth and love, so he may have decided to extend his stay inside the womb longer. But the Gynecologist drew a line. She said, its getting late now. She gave us two choices, induced labor or c-section. But she was quite happy to proceed with any decision we may decide. She gave us a couple of days to decide. She also mentioned that pains may start anytime and the water can also break at anytime so be ready.

We went back to our home. The hospital was 5 mins away. It could be the discussion with the doctor or it could be a genuine thing too, Shraddha started experiencing some labor pain type sensation late that night. We went to the hospital. We were asked to sit in the maternity ward / room. Neo’s mother is relaxed but anxious now. At this time the regular gynecologist was off duty, obviously, it was quite late in the night. So we were told that the floor duty doctor would visit us.

The floor duty doctor came in a few minutes, she saw the readings, she said everything is alright. Phew!

Neo’s mom asked her opinion on whether to choose induced labor or to take c-section. She gave an honest opinion after feeling the womb with her palms. She mentioned that the baby is still free floating (which was absolutely right) and then she mentions that induced labor can get very painful and that we should choose c-section instead. Neo’s mom was not fully convinced. She saw that the doctor was quite young and may have thought that she had less experience. But although she was bang on, we did not take her advise.

The next day we went to our regular gynecologist and Neo’s mom wanted to go with induced labor. The gynecologist suggested Neo’s mom get admitted for the night so that she can sleep off the pain.

Neo’s mom was not sure about the checking in at night. She thought that the main doctors won’t be available so we decided to get admitted the next morning. We reached there around 10 am. The labor pain started the earlier night but in phases. And the compressions were around once in a few hours. The compression should start recurring every 5 to 7 mins to begin with. Neo’s mom got admitted in the maternity room and the compressions were beginning to get closer and closer (the nurse had now induced labor to Neo’s mom).

90 mins post induced labor, Neo’s mom felt that she couldn’t take the pain anymore and that we should call the gynecologist and choose the c-section option instead. So by 2 pm Neo’s mom is taken inside the operation theater.

I was at the cafeteria and I think I was having a cup of coffee before Neo’s arrival. We also had Neo’s Uncle and Aunt (Neo’s mom’s elder sister) visit us from Mumbai a few days ago, they were also with me in the hospital that day. We got a call from the operation theater in-charge asking us to come to the first floor. He did not mention anything else. So we took the elevator and reached the first floor. We were let inside a preliminary gate outside the operation theater’s main door.

We waited for a few seconds outside the theater. Then they were asking a helper to get a NICU stretcher.

Looking at the size of the stretcher, I realized this was for Neo. But wait, there could have been other deliveries too. So I was waiting patiently along with Neo’s Uncle and Aunt.

Finally, the NICU duty doctor came out of the operation theater smiling. She mentioned it was my child and did not reveal the gender yet.

I captured the first glimpse of Neo in the bright lobby lights of the operation theater’s preliminary chamber. He was covered in a bright green cloth from head to toe. His face was visible. The bright hospital lights seemed to disturb him a bit. I was not crying till this point.

The moment I started saying “Hi Neo. This is Appa. Can you recognize my voice?” he makes eye contact (we were told in the parenting course that if we speak to the child regularly while they are in the womb, they will recognize our voice and that they will make eye contact). The helpers and everyone started saying that he looks exactly like his father. Then came down the tears, uncontrollably. Then the helpers notice that I am crying and one of them said, “these are tears of Joy instead”!

The last time I had cried before that was decades ago, probably for my first promotion early on in my career or something. I don’t even remember. I didn’t even cry when I lost my father in late 2023. But here you go, tears of joy rolled out as if the overhead tanker was switched on.

Then the floor doctor went on with the gender reveal. For some reason, I always knew the child would be a male. Neo’s mom wanted a boy even more. And there he was, a boy!

The Uncle and the Aunt were also very happy and excited for being one of the few and first ones to witness Neo’s arrival. Neo’s mom would have witnessed his arrival firsthand of course (inside the operation theater). She later told me she was also crying after she saw him for the first time. She probably took a selfie with him too, ha! Damn, she beat me to it. I had no idea where my phone was anyway, I was looking at Neo!

That sums up the moment of Neo’s arrival!

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New Gift – Chapter 3 : Neo smiles for the first time!

Posted on May 11, 2026 by workaholicvarun

Taking a cue from the non linear screenplay in many recent blockbusters, lets take dive into those moments when Neo was only a few months old, with some build up and background of course.

Right from birth, babies sleep only on their back mostly. Unless when caretakers or parents make them sleep on their tummy. That could be one of the reasons why Neo used to love his 20 mins of oil massage. I get it. Sleeping in the same posture every day for hours together could be very numbing for the muscles. He also enjoyed his tummy time a lot. During his time of birth, the nurse mentioned that he loves sleeping on his tummy the best.

Not just Neo, the fact that I realized even I would have slept the same way for 20 to 25 weeks after my birth makes me dig deeper on the fact that as babies we mostly take a lot of time for actions we do normally now. I will dig further deep on the philosophy side of this in a few chapters forward.

One thing babies can do instantly is probably hold on to the finger of their parent. Neo was holding my index finger right from the day one. He was also trying to take my index finger towards him and put it into his mouth. His grip would be remarkable strong, one would not expect that from a months’ baby as such. During our visit to Goa, when Neo was just five months old, an airhostess experienced this too. Neo held her finger strongly and won’t let go, ha! She gave him a compliment “Oh, app bahut strong ho!”, meaning Oh, you are very strong.

Neo took 3 to 4 months to blink his eyelids in a normal pace. Babies take a while to blink their eyes in the same pace as adults. This is why we started preparing Neo before we switched on the lights in the room. His mother would say “Lights on, Neo” first and then switch on the lights ever since the first few days after his birth. And of course same thing for switching off lights. Now it has become a habit for us to prepare Neo every time he wakes up from sleep and we have to draw out the curtains during day, “Lights on, Neo.”

My wife and I attended a 12 week online Parenting course back in early 2025. Those 12 weeks would set the course for our learning and setting our expectations right too. I will speak about this course in a separate chapter but I mention it here because not everything I am saying here or every tip is my observation or my discovery alone. I learnt from the best.

For instance, that course taught us about a magical procedure called “Say & Do”, i.e. First Say what you are going to do to the child or for the child and then do it. This way the child understands what you are going to do and doesn’t get startled or afraid as such. “Neo, I am going to change your diapers now, Neo put your hands through the shirt, Neo its time to sleep now” etc. Trust me, even if the baby is inside the womb, they somehow understand. Neo we are going to the clinic to take a scan, be prepared ok and Neo did understand when he was 6 to 8 months old inside the womb! The Gynecologist herself was surprised how quick the scan got over. She mentioned that it usually takes a few hours for the scan to complete but looks like your child was ready for the scan. That’s the power of “Say & Do”!

Neo took 3 months to see colors, mostly red to begin with. Imagine, everything would be in black and white immediately after being born. This was already mentioned to us in the parenting sessions we attended. I had also noticed this change myself, because after 3 months, Neo’s stare started prolonging. He used to stare at me and his mother for minutes together. And every time he saw us, and recognized us, we could see the pleasure he exhibits through his eyes. For the first 3 months, Neo was busy sleeping, feeding, excreting and crying (he mostly used to cry only for milk or when he had done potty). After 3 months, things slowly start to get more exciting. He sees his parents better. He sees the fan, he sees the tube-light. His parents palm and fingers are his preferred toys. Every time he sees their parents fingers, facial expressions as if he is seeing them for the first time.

Babies love repetition. When parents call them by their name, they register it. We were told to talk to Neo right from the time he was in his womb. We were told that babies develop hearing sense first, that too inside the womb itself. So we started calling him Neo and started talking to him ever since he was 5 months old inside the womb, you know “Say & Do” etc. Neo started reacting to Tamil quite a lot. As parents we can notice that a baby who had hardly noticed or interacted for the first 12-14 weeks suddenly starts looking at them keenly when they hear the words that were uttered repeatedly, maybe since the time they were in the womb too. I could recognize the fact that he had started recognizing my voice, my words and what I told him repeatedly. He recognizes his mother’s words and voice too.

It was one such midnight when Neo was around 4 to 5 months old. I went into his room to switch off the AC for some time. I realized that he was awake by himself, laying on his back, but not crying. I realized that he must have just woken up but he was pleasant. This was the night that Neo saw me, felt my presence, remembered who I am and then gave me a big wide cheek to cheek SMILE! I can still remember that face. Obviously babies don’t have teeth yet, so that made him look even more cuter. The room was dimly lit, only the bed side dim light was on, but still I captured that smile and that face forever in my memory. I have a good memory, and I will take that Smile memory till the day I live and to my grave too. I promise!

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New Gift – Chapter 2 – Neo’s Father’s Resilience

Posted on April 26, 2026 by workaholicvarun

I used to be a topper of my class. Right from class 5. I was not so good with my 2nd language Hindi. When I was in grade 4, my brother and I were put in a tuition. Everyday after school, we used to go for tuition. One such day, I realized the fact that we don’t have to recite everything as it is from a book. For instance, that day, I was asked to read a story and explain in English. I could remember the first few lines as is. However, the remaining lines I forgot the sequence and verbatim but understood the essence. When I got stuck, my teacher asked me try and explain what happened after that. She insisted so I made up my own words to explain the story. She applauded me and encouraged me. I understood then. From that day on, my grades began to improve. But still my 2nd language was still a problem.

My parents understood this and they quickly put me in a tuition for Hindi. And since my Hindi teacher happened to be my class teacher also, she used to help us out in other subjects also. Voila, I cracked Hindi and kept topping that subject from then on. And you know what, I instantly climbed up to top 3 ranks in my class and I stayed there. By class 9, I tasted the Rank #1 in my class too. My grades in 10th class were very good too. I was on a path to making some major academic achievements maybe. But then the 3 year rough patches never left us alone. They used to comeback like clockwork and as explained in the previous chapter, it used to have a major impact on us.

This meant that once I finished my class 12th with above 80% marks, I had no college to apply for. My Father could not afford my college education, even a merit seat. So, I kept preparing for MBBS entrance for 2 more years. During these 2 years, I also helped my Father out with his newspaper and magazines circulation business. We used to walk and approach all our neighbors and others living in the close by areas if they are interested in a circulating library concept. So one pays a sum of 100 rupees for a month and they get to read a few magazines in different languages. As a concept this was fresh and many were interested. But point is that all of us had to be involved in delivering those new magazines and collecting previous magazines and circulating them to others. This needed a lot of planning and my Father was good with that.

A few months into this, we were able to get enough money to buy groceries on a daily basis and eat steady meals. Someone in my Father’s network had an un-used cycle so they gave it to us. We used to deliver our magazines using that cycle. It so happened that a few months later we found a little parking garage in a big house that was not being used, so we used that as a book/ magazine shop. This also meant that we were buying newspapers and magazines and selling them too apart from the circulating library. This meant that one of us had to wake up at 4 am, get to the main center where newspapers and magazines were delivered every day around 4.30 am, collect them and deliver them to those who had subscribed to this service from us. And that’s how I became a newspaper delivery boy myself and understood the value of hardwork. All this while I still could not go to college in those 2 years.

As fate would have it, one day I happened to read a magazine called ‘India Today’ which ranked the colleges in India for all streams. In 2003, the magazine ranked ‘Madras Christian College’, Tamabaram, Chennai as the # 1 college for Sciences and it was just a few kilometers from where I lived.

I go to this college with no money but only hope. I meet a Professor there who happens to be a member of our circulating library. He looks at my 12th Marksheet and says I would easily get a Merit Seat but the applications were all sold out for that year! So, I get back to my house dejected. This is when my Mother springs into action. She knew that my neighbor was applying to colleges that year. She just went there and asked my neighbor’s mother if they had an unfilled application form for that particular college and voila, they did! Ha! We felt so happy as if we won the lottery. Indeed. Later it turned out that this particular action of my Mother put me where I am today.

I take the form back to the Professor and he did get me through. I signed up for BSc. Zoology course. Since I was already preparing for my MBBS entrance, I was on top of Zoology the most. I topped my class in the first semester. I got a scholarship for topping my class. It helped me repay my first semester fees. I don’t remember what we did that the money but I remember giving it to my father for home expenses. There was an active rough patch still going on. This is when I decided that I had to start working to put some bread on the table.

One random afternoon, I was in my college, the class had just got over. I saw one of my classmate walking in a hurry to reach somewhere after college. I just happened to ask him where he was going. He said he was going to attend a walk-in interview in a movie multiplex chain called ‘Sathyam Cinemas’. He in fact even asked me if I wanted to join him. I just went. I had no intention or no idea of how I can pull off working and studying. I still went with him nevertheless.

I attended the interview and they had a customer care executive role in mind for me. Not the call center type of customer care executive but a real offline one. They mentioned that the pay would be 3,000 rupees per month and that it was a 8 hours shift. My college timings were from 8.30 am to 1.30 pm. That meant I can only work from 3 pm to 11 pm. I came back from those interviews and thought about it for a few days. I convinced my parents that I could somehow pull this off.

I went back to Sathyam Cinemas with the 3 pm to 11 pm proposal and the HR agreed instantly. They also set up my interview with one of the founders. The founder asked me a question that day. It was like a scenario. He asked me that “when an angry customer comes to you, shouts at you for bad service and asks for a solution what will you do”? I told him that first of all I would smile and apologize for the inconvenience caused to him. If there was something that I could help him with, I would instantly do that, else I would ask the concerned staff/ Managers and help him out. It seemed to convince the founder, he instantly asked me to join the firm. There I was, 19 year old (2003), with my first job as a customer care executive.

Coming up, after a few months, the founder helps me with something unique . I continue to work for Sathyam Cinemas despite all the commuting and personal hardships I face. 2.5 years later, I clear the 2nd most important interview of my life!

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New Gift – Chapter 1 – Neo’s Father’s Childhood

Posted on April 26, 2026 by workaholicvarun

When I think back about my life, it feels like many stories put together. I am sure all of your lives seem similar to what my life feels to me. I am just in a mood to share a few with you now. It seems like a good time now to share. Because I have seen whatever needs to be seen, experienced all events from birth to death of close ones. Poverty. Hunger. Hardwork. Greed. Lust. Anger. Arrogance. Jealousy. Delusion. All of it. And most importantly I have come to understand that one thing in life, after which one knows everything about everything. “The One thing, knowing which everything else becomes known” courtesy : ‘Mundaka Upanishad’. While I let you figure out what that One thing is, let’s have some fun in me sharing some of my past events with you.

You may ask, how is my story relevant to this New Gift i.e. Neo’s story. Well isn’t it?

I remember when I was in the 2nd grade (early 1990s), my father was employed as a Marketing Manager in a well established Industrial products & services company in Chennai, Tamilnadu. I came to hear from him much later (around 2015s) that he was traveling from Chennai to a different city on a work related trip, he was lured into a bigger post with better pay for a bigger company. He may have jumped the gun and made some mistakes like quitting his present job without having an offer letter from the new company. Obviously, Greed + Delusion took control of my father during that decision. What followed next was a brutal fall from middle class to lower middle class lifestyle.

My father was well qualified. A mechanical engineer in those days and was a brilliant Engineering Drawing teacher as well. He made a conscious shift from Teaching to Marketing. He was very good in what he did. He was very organized. In fact his organization skills were quite awe inspiring. But when it came to finances, he was not that good. He did not have much to rely back on his family or his own savings. He saw two ways to weather through this rough patch between Jobs. This was the early1990s. Globalization had not yet kicked in back then. MNCs were not yet on the doors rolling out opportunities. So he thought loaning money by pawning gold or selling off furniture/ appliances were good ways to provide for the house during that rough patch.

To begin with, the rented apartment we were living back then was a good one and we had almost all appliances and furniture back in those days itself. Then came the sell off/ pawn off.

One day we see some stranger visiting our house, taking stock of the sofa sets, dining table, double cot, refrigerator. Everything else was fine. But I loved the refrigerator for 2 reasons. The Ice Cubes and Cold Water. I was so elated when it came in. In Chennai there is high humidity and as children we remember being thirsty a lot. So that refrigerator was indeed a good relief from the merciless sweating. And that would go away now. That stranger made a deal for X amount of money and went away. But a few days later when he came back to buy those things, he further bargained the amount from X to Y. He quoted that his days were not so good either and that he came in an autorickshaw instead of his own car etc. It took me 20 years to understand what that guy pulled off. Ha. He conned us off and got away with all the stuff for just half the price maybe.

Point is, when you are 8 or 9 years old and all this happens, it leaves an impression on your mind. From that day onwards I had lost interest in things like furniture, appliances etc. I was like there is no guarantee that my father would never have a rough patch again in his career again. There is no guarantee that the furniture and appliances would stay us forever. There is no point developing a favorite among those material things. Wow! I am able to explain it fully now but back then I could not explain in so many words, makes sense right. But something changed in the way I looked at material things from that point.

Many years later I did develop a fascination for the iPhone though. As fate would have it, I bought an iPhone 5 in 2014 on a 6 month EMI. I loved it. Nothing like it. Exactly after 6 months, I lose the phone and never get it back. I punish myself with a non-smart phone for a few months and then eventually I move on to an Android phone. I swore never to buy such an expensive phone with my hard earned money ever. Its 2026 now. For 12 years, I have managed to resist any and every expensive smartphone. Even though I can afford one, I buy a basic Android phone with the basic features I need. That’s it.

So what made an impact on me back in 1990s when I was in the 2nd grade, faded away once I started earning. But as life’s roller coaster rides would have taught me, I was constantly reminded not to expect too much in life and nothing is permanent right repeatedly in my life. For instance, my fathers rough patches kept repeating every 3 years after my 2nd grade patch. Every 3 years we would sell off all that we bought only to keep the house running. Obviously my brother and I kept growing in age. My father did get a better job, better pay, better designation every time after a rough patch. But these periodic phases where my father did not have any job left us in deep philosophical mindset. We may not have had money but we did not lose our spirit. It brought my father, mother and brother closer to me. We became a close inseparable unit. Many nights when there was minimal or no food to eat at home, we used to laugh our way out of the situation listening to FM radio songs. Beyond a point there would be nothing to sell also. My mother would reach out to the neighbors and ask for a 50 or 100 rupees promising we will pay back in some time.

One such instance in early 2000s. We were living in far away sub-urbs. Rents are cheaper there. My mother reached out to a neighbor. She promised my mother that she can give only 50 rupees. I was asked to go to the main road with her son where he would change a 100 rupee note for two 50 rupee notes and give me one 50 rupee note.

So I went with him. He changed the 100 rupee note and gave me a 50 rupee note. After giving me this he asked me “Did you eat anything?”. It could have been just a casual thing to ask for him but it hit me differently. I suddenly realized that we are at a stage where people think we have not eaten anything for days maybe? He was right. We were scrambling for food indeed. That day something else changed in my life. I started taking some decisions for my family of four.

Coming up Next, my newspaper delivery days and my days in Sathyam Cinemas while studying in Madras Christian College, Chennai.

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“New Gift”

Posted on March 22, 2026 by workaholicvarun

Prelude

I was invited to share my views on self-publishing recently where I was presenting some content to Executive Education Alumni of a renowned business school in India. I was looking for interesting facts about legendary authors, which is when I remembered reading somewhere that Ayn Rand published her working notes, outlines and character studies as writings in newspapers. Then I thought why couldn’t I do this for my own upcoming book (maybe). You know, put your money where your mouth is.

Voila, that’s it! Here goes the set of writings that could potentially transform into my next book, whether self-published or published through the regular publishing route, these would still remain as a set of blogposts and remind me of what went through my heart and mind during the birth of my First Child.

The next set of blogposts is an ode to Neo Mannava, my first child!

While, it did cross my mind that I should not take real names and hence write a fiction, but having self-published three books in the socializing domain (between 2016 to 2024), I realized that my subconscious mind is tuned to jump right into the content instead of building the character arcs or story setting etc. And in writing, I believe, like any other art form, the subconscious takes control. Your fingers keep typing your thoughts away before even you could realize what epic stuff you ended up writing. You realize this only when you revisit your writing after a decade or so. Ha! On that note, let’s move ahead.

So, while the book may look like a non-fiction, I will take every care to keep it as engaging as possible. And obviously, other than Neo, his mother’s name and his father’s name, all other names have been modified purposefully.

One may ask, why a book? Everyone has a child, what’s so special about your child or the bond that you have with your child? To them, I say, go ahead there is still time, write that book or blogpost or even an Instagram post if you are into it. If nothing, at least re-visit your mental notes from time to time. I say this and everyone would agree that there is no love in this world like that of a new born.

Whenever I sit to observe my child, a river of learnings, words, thoughts flow. I keep observing. I observe a lot. I generated the entire content for my self-published books purely through observations. Where do I store all these observations that I make about my child. Although, a picture would speak a thousand words, I wanted to go ahead and write those 1000 words too and more.

This book (or) set of blogposts spans through the gestation period to the point where Neo would turn 1.

While I have found a lifetime worth of treasure that I can slowly cash out, this period from when Neo was conceived to the point where he turns 1 is most special for me. And of course, I will keep writing about Neo (the lifetime worth of treasure), it could generate my retirement corpus and transform into the treasure for real.

Jokes apart, let me begin with the mission I set out here to achieve.

Neo means New or Gift (from divine), hence the name of the blogpost series will be “New Gift”. Ultimately the book could also be called the same.

–Varun Gowtham Mannava

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Superstar Rajinikanth’s most popular and most rewarding character “Padayappa” (Tamil movie in 1999) had a pilot/ trial run in a cameo character named “Paparayudu” in the 1995 Telugu blockbuster movie named “Pedarayudu” (a remake of the Tamil Movie “Nattamai”)!

Posted on May 22, 2025 by workaholicvarun

This insight is brought to you by Varun Mannava : “King of Clubs”. Now available on Amazon, Flipkart and Kindle

We have all watched the 1994 Tamil movie “Nattamai“. The movie directed by K.S. Ravi Kumar was a blockbuster of sorts for the storyline and power packed performances by Sarathkumar, Khushboo and Vijayakumar. Music Director rolled out some nice songs, one of which was “Kotta Paakum, Kolunthu vethala, potta vaay sevakkum”! Thats it. The joint family melodrama took everyone by storm and the kickass flashback of why the village leader (Portrayed by Vijayakumar, as Sarath Kumar’s father) should treat everyone impartially, especially if the accused were from their own family too.

Back then there was no internet, no social media, no DVDs too. Over and above, there were not many people who knew both Tamil and Telugu languages, and even lesser people who watched both “Nattamai” and its remake “Pedarayudu”. Fortunately because I was a Telugu living in Chennai, I had the opportunity to watch both and compare notes.

I loved the cameo by Rajinikanth in the Telugu remake “Pedarayudu” and now I savor it even more because this character Paparayudu almost inadvertently laid the foundation stone for the Superstar’s character in the 1999 movie “Padayappa”. Interestingly there was no remake of “Padayappa” in telugu but it was directly dubbed in Telugu as “Narasimha”.

I have some screenshots from the Telugu Pedarayudu character portrayed by Superstar Rajnikanth that reminds us of his body language and mannerisms in “Padayappa” movie. The cigar style, the make up of an elderly person, the call to action on what’s just, punishing verdict delivered even if they are your family in “Pedarayudu” movie everything not just matched but took his stardom to the highest level in “Padayappa”. Needless to say, the theaters just took off in frenzy for that 10 min scene when Superstar is present in the Telugu movie “Pedarayudu”, that’s when the cameo appears on the big screen.

Also Rajinikanth being in his prime, had never done any cameos so late in his career i.e. the 90s, especially 1995 was the year when his blockbuster movie “Baasha” released. I think he just did it for his favorite friend and fellow Telugu actor Mohan Babu. He never did any cameo after that till SRK’s very own Ra.One, where he only appears as Chitti, the Robot and of course the 2024 movie “Lal Salaam” directed by his elder daughter Aishwarya Rajinikanth. Incidentally, both the movies i.e. Ra.One & Lal Salaam didn’t do well commercially.

Rajinikanth plays the titular role of “Padayappa” in 1995 where he is bound by his paternal legacy to deliver justice for everyone equally including the downtrodden even if the aggressors are his kin. “Padayappa” is a lifetime hit of Superstar Rajinikanth which most of his fans cherish and remember fondly till date.

In “Pedarayudu” 1995, Rajinikanth plays the paternal path-setter himself where he does not bow down to anyone in delivering justice especially for the downtrodden even if the accused is his own nephew.

–Varun Gowtham Mannava

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Sorgavaasal [Movie Review]

Posted on January 5, 2025 by workaholicvarun

This insight is brought to you by Varun Mannava : King of Clubs. Now available on Amazon, Flipkart and Kindle

Most times when one comes across a beautiful house or an extremely luxurious restaurant or an extremely pricey car, one stands awestruck and keeps staring at it for a few seconds. Then quickly one realizes the shit hole they are in and continue with their life agreeing to the fact that they can never have that home or car or eat in that restaurant. This movie gives us the same feeling. And its quite aptly titled too – Sorgavassal (meaninng Gateway to heaven), its just the gateway to heaven and not heaven itself. And just because one has reached the gateway to heaven or staring at it doesn’t mean one has entered heaven.

Directed by Siddharth Vishwanath, this movie deals with the weight of hoping for something but not happening vs not hoping for anything and setting up expectations accordingly. The movie is quite gripping at large. We have come across such movies in the past, “Virumaandi” for example or say “Side A”/ “Side B” or the grand old “Mahanadi” movie by Kamal Hassan too gives us a sneak peek of what happens inside prisons.

One could also draw parallels to the legendary cult movie Shawshank Redemption in a more subtler or common-man ish way. This movie deals with prison trauma where the protagonist (RJ Balaji) is trapped into a prison sentence using hearsay evidence and how he struggles with that. There are also other ambitious characters in the movie that leave an impact. One of them being Karunas who rose from a comedian to a character artist to even a lead role but had been missing since the past many years. It’s good to see him back on the big screen. Karunas plays the role of a jailer here and his character is present through out the movie.

The most impactful character is portrayed by Selva Raghavan who seems very authentic and gets into the skin of the character. Easily one of his best performances till date.

The script is so neat and tight that this movie would have made an impact with or without RJ Balaji. But it definitely is a good movie to have on his resume. Since he has been a RJ in the past, I somehow felt his voice was able to emote more than his eyes or expressions as such in the movie. The subtle and layered revelations, the parallel narrations and legit looking cast and prison settings definitely add to the script’s strength.

This movie is available on Netflix and is a highly recommended watch. This movie has a lot of violence so viewer’s discretion is advised.

Movie Rating = 3.5 out of 5

–Varun Gowtham Mannava

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