I figured this out on my own and it may be true or false but here it goes. I think Mother Nature made the female gender in a particular way so that they are more ready to raise newborns who are very tender to begin with. Imagine nurturing a one day old newborn, holding them in your hand, feeding them, bathing them, dressing them up, speaking to them, making them sleep, cleaning them up when they poop all of this requires tender hands. I think Mother Nature gave women a tender physique and especially tender and smaller hands because she believes women are best suited to take care of the offspring at the newborn stage.

Holding a new born in your hands for a few minutes, smiling, making funny faces is all fun. But doing all the other tasks for one full day and then continuing to do those tasks every day for the next 5 to 6 years at least till the offspring becomes self sufficient to brush, bathe, clean up and dress on their own is no less than a Himalayan task in itself. And given the length and width of my palms, I was never confident of handing a new born but it does change for the better in a few weeks.

For the first 3 months, like I mentioned, Neo was happy to sleep, feed, poop, feed, pee, feed and sleep again by his mother’s side. In fact, he was getting a hang of it quite fast. One day a situation presented itself in a way that Neo had to rely on his father to make him fall asleep. It was the first time for me also. Till this point, I held Neo only for a few times, I mean one could just count it. But what happens that day will change the course of Neo’s sleep schedule forever. And he gave us that sign.

Lets go back one decade. It was 2013, I was working in a steady job since almost 7 years and had paid off all the debts that we made earlier, I will explain the debts part later in another chapter, but for now understand that my father had to borrow money from his friends and family to weather off the years where he was broke. Plus, there was an EMI for the car that I bought in 2007 too. All paid off. By this time we had accumulated some furniture at home too. This time no one is coming to take it off. We did not buy the furniture and appliances in one go but over the 7 years. Bottomline is that I had ensured my parents were self sufficient wherever they were living. Maybe I was preparing them and myself for the future. I was moving away from them and I didn’t even know it back then.

7 years into my first job, I wanted a change. I had applied internally in my first company but could not move to a profile that I wanted. Similar profile from another company came searching for me. This was more like a head hunting. I took it. But the position was in Gurugram, Haryana. I had been living in Hyderabad, Telangana for 7 years working in my first company and 21 years in Chennai, Tamilnadu growing up.

When I moved to Gurugram for my new role in a new company I checked into a hotel for the first 2 weeks. I had to finalize a place to stay during this time. I approached a housing broker and he took me around in a Fortuner type SUV. He did charge me a one month brokerage later once the house was finalized, Ha. Point is that during this house hunting, most of the options that were shown to me were the ones that were fully furnished. I never came across something like this till that point. I thought this was very convenient. I never wanted to buy furniture and appliances for myself anyway thanks to the furniture and appliances episodes in my childhood and teenage days. Also, because I already had my parents house where we already bought whatever was required etc.

So this meant that for the next 10 years starting 2013, I preferred a fully furnished house rather than a semi-furnished or unfurnished house in Gurugram. This meant I didn’t have to worry about buying anything, it was mostly plug and play, ready to move in.

Even after my wedding in 2023, I wanted to continue a similar model, so we rented furniture on our own.

Given this background, lets get back to the situation that led to Neo trusting me to take care of his sleep.

It was Aug, 2024 where we were expecting the rented furniture and appliances to reach our apartment. Neo had a good morning ritual, fed well and was about to sleep. However, since the entire furniture was getting revamped, even his bed had to be replaced. Neo’s mother was busy instructing the helpers on which item should be placed where and gave me the responsibility to take care of Neo.

This was the first time since Neo’s birth that I held him for more than 5 minutes. I had no prior experience of making a child sleep. From my childhood, I was comfortable carrying anything on my shoulders, even my father’s debts ha!

So I held Neo with my both hands and placed him on my left shoulder. Back then I had a long beard. Neo’s mother was critical of this idea and had mentioned that Neo will not sleep in that posture because of my beard. While I was trying to convince her that Neo will sleep and that she need not worry, I started feeling Neo’s head getting heavier on my shoulder. Voila! he had slept off and like how.

There was so much work going on in the living room, at least 3 helpers were unpacking the furniture and appliances and were configuring / assembling them but no, Neo does not wake up.

After a point, Neo’s mother felt that there will be dust too and that I need to take Neo downstairs and sit in the car perhaps? I was like, sure why not. By this time it was already 20 minutes since Neo had fallen asleep on my shoulder.

I took the elevator and reached the car parking. I sat in the car, switched on the AC and waited there for 90 odd minutes for the unpacking and assembly to get over. I got a call that the work was done. Neo was still asleep. I took him back upstairs and put him on his new bed. Mission accomplished.

From that day onwards, everytime and anytime, my left shoulder was his favorite way to fall asleep. Sometimes when he takes longer to fall asleep, I would rock my feet up and down standing up (somewhat like a stationary jumping jacks) for a few weeks and that worked wonders. Once he outgrew those, I would rock him left to right standing upright with his head on my left shoulder. I also learnt how to hold him on my right shoulder sometimes when my left hand used to pain.

Neo’s mother was so relieved, she still wonders how I can make him sleep under any and every circumstance. I just smile and move on to the next task while the baby is fast asleep on his bed.