Alright, we have heard all the gyan (knowledge) from internet on how to be in a relationship. But what they don’t tell you is how not to be in a relationship.

Relationship is a domain that is fast changing. Everyone would have gained their basic knowledge about relationship from their parents or friends or movies. However, what we fail to admit is that we are no longer part of our parent’s relationship era or that we are not as lucky as our friends or that its never as cliche as it happens in movies. So what makes it so difficult or easy to be in a relationship in 2018’s?

Today, most of us are not aware of what we truly want. Let’s agree on this. We want to be in a relationship just because our friends or acquaintances or colleagues keep pestering us from time to time saying “How come you are single?” Even if we tell them a convincing answer they refuse to accept it. So let’s all accept it. No one wants to be single these days. Especially in this “Tinder Era”. As a matter of fact, relationship in 90s had a completely different definition compared to the definition in 2017s or 2018s.

We have single people, we have “divorcees”, we have “widows/ widowers”, we have “single but just broken up from a relationship yet unable to forget their ex”, we have “married, father/ mother of two but unhappy with the marriage”, we have “married yet want to explore/ swap”, we have “it’s complicated” kind of reasons. Everyone in the above category including the “genuinely single” person is looking for a partner, mind you! Maybe not a faithful partner, not a loyal lifetime partner, just a partner. Add to this a few alcoholic drinks and you have everyone in the pub hitting on every hot girl, whether the girl is single or no!

What is the kind of precedence we are setting for our future generation? We are 10x confused with what we want. Our future generation would be 100x confused. Their future generation would be 1000x more confused and so on. We may not live long enough to laugh at the relationship standards 30 years down the line. Just like our grand-moms and grand-dads!

What is the solution to all this? Does this need a solution?

If we do need a solution, then the most logical solution (according to me) is to have a clear mindset and understand not to run behind every open window of opportunity we get, no matter how lucrative that opportunity is. Although it might give us pleasure for the initial few weeks/ months, it is bound to turn ugly. When I say ugly it’s just a mild interpretation. Ugly can get really, really ugly. For instance, I recently read a news article, where a senior manager of a reputed wall street bank had an affair with his own team mate and did not allow her to get married and at the same time he could not get married too! What is this world we live in?

Is it really so difficult to find the partner of our dreams? Is the partner of dreams so overrated?

In such an era, how does one find a loyal, accommadative partner?

Know Thyself!

Only if you are 100% sure of what you want, you would not be so unsure and casual about what you get during your exploration. Let’s say you are looking for Gold all your life, and when you dig the earth you find copper. Just because Gold is hard to get and Copper also glitters and that you know “All that glitters is not Gold”, why would you still settle for Copper. Keep digging for your Gold, until you get it.

In order to dig for Gold, you first need to be very clear as to why you need only Gold and not anything else. If you are clear then nothing or no one can stop you from discovering your ideal partner (Gold)! Not even The Universe!

Go for Gold folks!

–Varun Gowtham Mannava