Socializing through Bachata

Everyone who knew me back in 2010s knew me as a reserve, shy, “stick to work” conversation kind of a person. In 2013 I moved to Gurgaon and it transformed me. I had developed a knack for approaching strangers and engaging in a successful conversation with them. Most of them are my friends now. However this transformation was not just a few weeks affair. It took a lot of repeat visits to party places in Gurgaon, making friends with bar tenders & pub managers initially. Then forming my own wolf pack to feel more confident in approaching strangers (with the right mindset of course). This took 2 to 3 years. That is when one of my mentor cum good friend suggested I write a book on how to befriend strangers (opposite gender that is) in a social setup like pubs. I grabbed on to the idea. My aim was to help singles. I took up the challenge and self-published my first book in 2016. It did help a few singles in my immediate circle and some random readers too. I was happy.

In 2017 I moved to Hyderabad and the parties were not so happening anymore in hyderabadi pubs. I thought my days of making friends and helping fellow singles was over. But still I wanted to keep at it and do something for singles especially from a ‘dating coach’ point of view. I woke up one day thinking I can host speed dating events like the one that happens in the movie “Hitch”! All I had to do was to share this idea with my good friend and team mate (Denis). That’s it. He knew some of his contacts who were already conducting such events in Delhi/Bengaluru. I called them up and they readily agreed to let me host their speed dating events in Hyderabad. In July we started our first speed dating event in Hyderabad! I self-published my 2nd book that dealt more with the ideal mindset needed to approach a stranger. After hosting 8 events in 7 months, I felt I did my bit to make singles meet their ideal partner. It was promising but not as effective as I had envisioned.

The reason why I am telling you all this is that one need not go through the hardships I had gone through to find an ideal partner or make eligible singles find their ideal partner.

Bachata is all you need. No speed dating! No pub hopping!

If conversation starters are the key to breaking the ice, Bachata classes offer you loads of such conversation starters. Its not just that, there are loads of lighter moments that makes the entire class laugh. There are moments when you admire a fellow dancer but you need not just stop at admiring your fellow dancer, you can go and ask them to dance with you too! At this point however you need to follow the protocol of not making physical or unwanted advances. You are getting a lot of time to interact is what I am trying to convey. If not through your good dressing sense or dancing skills, through your casual interactions during the Bachata sessions if you are able to make an impression, voila, your first date is ON over the weekend! But you also need to remember, not everyone in the class might be single!

I regret I had not known about this earlier. I regret not learning an intimate dance form earlier too because although I am a good dancer on my own, I tend to freak out when it comes to dancing in pairs. But not anymore! Better late than never.

Cheers to Bachata.

–Varun

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