Stand Up Comedy Wala Blog – III

Culture! Let’s take a witty angle on Culture and Rituals this time! [Insert Laughter]

I know you would agree when I say this Indian society today goes all the way and beyond to safeguard its culture and rituals. But who invented these cultures and rituals anyway. Someone says if you sneeze before an exam or an interview then you will flunk it ![Insert Laughter] . Ya right. Your nose is the most sensitive to temperature variations and dust thats all. Your nose has no idea whether you would crack an interview or an exam. The least it can tell you is that whether the exam hall smells hygienic and not of urine from the washroom nearby or whether the invigilators had a bath or no. [Insert Laughter]

According to 1900s Indian culture (influenced by 500 years of Mughal rule and 300 years of British rule), women could not step out of the house (prior to Mughal rule there were no such restrictions on women in the Indian culture btw). Eventually the Indian women did step out in late 1900s [oh yes], they started riding pillion on scooters, then they started learning driving and now men ride pillion while women drive. Culture has always been a system to grant the elders and males the upper hand in this confused society. Obviously in 1900s if the elders had to clarify logical situations they couldn’t contact their ancestors in the 13th century of pre Mughal era? [Insert laughter]

Imagine if men had to change their surnames, give up their careers after marriage to bring up the kids [like male penguins do] while their wives go to work, men would have definitely revolted after a few centuries just like women. It’s got nothing to do with the Indian rituals. It’s all about what’s outside the house that attracts the human psychology. Men would die to get out of the house somehow and work just like women. Because it’s fun no? [Insert Laughter]

Take the work from home scenarios these days. It has put everyone in the same pedestal. Kids, Teenagers, Adults and Senior citizens. Everyone is tired of staying at home. Covid 19 is an equalizer like none other [Insert Laughter]. Had it been left to the Civil courts in this country, it would have taken many more decades to gain acceptance that Indian Men can also do domestic chores and cooking.. even bigger challenge being the moms of these Indian men btw [Insert laughter] . So the pandemic did something good afterall [Insert laughter].

Also, overall, what can poor Indians do anyway. They are just influenced by 500 years of Mughal invasion and 300 years of English invasion. Oppression of female kind was never in our culture. There is a reason why we have all our rivers named after women. Gayathri mantra is supposed to be the most powerful mantra. And according to our Vedas which is clearly 5000 years old, for anyone to win over MAYA and attain Moksha (salvation) one would need the grace of Goddess Shakti (female) herself. We valued women so much. Thanks to Mughals and English we started objectifying women and women’s body parts. (Btw, sorry Ajanta and Ellora never objectified women ok.) [NO laughter]

Today the khaap panchayat we see and all the hate killings is unfortunately due to the influence of the British’s “divide and rule policy”. The first Governor General probably who visited India saw so much variation in the Indian society and yet he was shocked by the fact how smoothly the society was functioning without any friction or opposition. He decided this was the biggest way to break and divide the society and so the British did break us.

Even today there are so many killings in the name of caste all over this holy land. North to South, East to West of India.

So we need to think. Who has benefited from the present Indian culture? Has it benefited the Mughals or the British or the Indians? Definitely not the Indians yeah?

So tomorrow if your parents ask you to wear the religious symbolism on your forehead (Hindu) or your neck (Christian) or your skull (Muslims and Sikhs).. or if they ask you to wear caste symbolisms on you, reject them.. not because the Americans want you to reject but because 800 years ago we Indians oursleves were already a smoothly functioning society and also we were the golden parrot (riches) that the whole uncivilized world was looking to loot! Yes .. they were looters.. the Mughals and the British alike. Americans weren’t even relevant then bro.

This blog is like ‘Food for Thought’ especially if you are a punjabi [Insert laughter]. Sorry couldn’t resist that. We love our Punjabis any day.. for their liveliness and their weddings but Punjabis inturn love food.. thats why I said food for thought.. Ha. Thankfully the Mughals or the British could not destroy this! [Insert laughter]

— Varun Gowtham Mannava

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