Community based Matrimonials in India : Facilitators or Distinguishers?

I was watching a regional (Tamil) comedy channel on TV. I was inconveniently surprised to see a matrimony ad where two people are happily married because they married within the same caste. Being within the same caste helped them understand each other’s expectations. They love the fact that their respective partner is so humble and hardworking because they belong to that caste.

Ha!

I burst into laughter. This ad breached a number of red flags in my opinion. The harmony of a society is best upheld when there is minimal discrimination as we all know already. In the developed countries discrimination still exists in the form of Race, Sexual orientation, Wealth. Although many countries, organizations and corporations within these countries are trying their best to normalize these differences. The difference in wealth may never be abolished but the abuse or discrimination on Race and Sexual orientation can definitely be eliminated.

While the world is heading towards emphasizing the human oneness aspect, we have a country filled with 135 billion people where many take strong adherence to their caste. One may not have 2 meals a day due to utter poverty but they still go nuts if someone from their caste marries someone from another caste. Honour Killing episodes across the country have been widely covered in the newspapers for several years. Despite this we see a legitimate business that glorifies discrimination and enables matches based on divisive feelings.

Yes, The Matrimonial sites! These sites are allowed to enable and carry forward caste based discrimination in this country. What gives these sites this right? The most common reply to this might be that it is the society that divides. They just facilitate the match making and don’t enforce caste adherence.

matrimony

Love is Love.

If togetherness is the ultimate goal for someone to find a partner, then why look at the Annual salary, height, weight, skin complexion, looks, language, extent of orthodoxy, caste and religion. If one feels their suitable match can be found through the nature of humility, education, passion, awareness and compassion then why add so many additional attributes and distinguishers?

What will society think? These days no one cares, at least in urban areas. Villages and small towns should change too. Shouldn’t these matrimonial sites be leading this cause and shouldn’t these matrimonial sites be celebrating the inter caste / inter faith marriages? Maybe, one day they will. For now these sites are technological Facilitators for marriages in societies and families that strictly adhere to distinguish.

–Varun Gowtham Mannava

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